i thought she was the one.

Dig a Ditch! maybe many of you will be much familiar with the line after that. well what happened today almost made me agree to what edwin and shatre once told me. look the reason is that i don't think she's the type that would actually do this. As my sister would always say, im not the bastard kind. and i dont really dont know how to actually dig ditches and stuff. but all i'm saying is that i'm really having second thoughts about this.

How great it would be if were some hot guy or some shit, so what if i know how to draw or play musical stuff(cough) it still doesnt cut. i mean. i would GLADLY exchange all my talents to actually look like shatre can already(no burn intended). i mean that asshole keeps saying that he is fat. but readers, trust me, i know what fat is.. you dont want to know. he is NOTHING of that sort man. seriously, one can learn to draw, sing, play the piano, guitar, drums and shit, but one cannot learn to be good looking. true.
wake up tomorrow and see if satan hears me or not.

i really thought she was the one. this is not a religionist comment or rather i'm burning my own religion. because. how many people of my religion actually listens to alternative, screamo, like faber drive, well perhaps i dont really know what's her fav la. but mine is john mayer and fightstar doubt it's the same. but you see. all those chinaaaaaaaa people are mostly my religion. cannot deny. once they switch on their mp3 jay chou pops out, im not discriminating them, it's just that they are sooo stuck ontheir own music and hate explore. i really cant stand people who only listen a single genre of music of sorts.

this isnt only about music
i figure out that perhaps if she talked to me about her family. i would feel alittle honoured. but it turns out that i'm not the only one whom she used to talk to about this(sorry edwin) but you own me.. big time.

there are so many things on my head. i rather not describe what happened online today cause its really a big slam right in my face. i'm feeling 25%angsty 45%sad 25% confused and not knowing what to do. and i have 5% free in my head just in case there's any new feelings arising.

Another thing before i go, i had some time today before 4 pm( my curfew).
so i followed my asshole neighbour to tp for the registration. and i saw ryan there haha! anyway.what gave me the creeps was that most of the guys over there were pierced up like full armour. and they looked like hardcore smokers. great. and talking about girls there. they hardly were wearing anything la! which is bad hello. my perfect girl would be dressed in shirt and pants. perhaps fbts but not too high. and god knows what low here, low cut there. ewwwwww.

"if we had the power, to bring our neighbours from war. they would have never missed a christmas, no more ribbons on the door." waiting on the world to change-john mayer(my idol for life!)